


The Beginning

by motschekiebchen



Series: Of Hunters and their Prey [1]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-07-05
Updated: 2011-07-05
Packaged: 2017-10-21 01:37:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/219461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/motschekiebchen/pseuds/motschekiebchen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you get transported somewhere, with no idea why, what do you do...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Alice, meet the white rabbit

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Not mine. Buffy is owned by Joss Whedon and Stargate by Jonathan Glassner and Brad Wright.
> 
> \---
> 
> Based on TtH Challenge 562 - Spike's in Love.
> 
> Set in Buffy after Series Finale. That means Spike burned and the Gang with Baby Slayers are with Angel in Los Angeles.
> 
> In the Stargate-Verse they are in season 5. Daniel is still alive.
> 
> \---
> 
> Thank you to my Betas MJ and RHR. Any remaining mistakes are my own.
> 
> \---
> 
> Reposted from Livejournal (Dec. 2008)

  
**1\. Alice, meet the white rabbit**   


 

 _  
The destruction of Sunnydale   
_

 

'To be a Champion of the light shouldn't hurt so fucking much...' was Spike's last conscious thought.

 

*###*###*###*

 

 _  
Two weeks later   
_

 

The red alarm blaring woke Colonel Jack O'Neill out of his paperwork induced stupor. Normally any distraction would be welcome, but hearing "Unauthorized gate activation" didn't promise anything good. It never did. So he followed General Hammond's order of "Colonel O’Neill, to the Gate Room" with trepidation.

When he entered the room and got his first good look at the Stargate, he very quickly became more alarmed. Instead of the usual “blue water” type energy field, something else was forming. From around the ring light sparks came together, forming a growing energy ball. When the ball touched the metal, it exploded in the usual fountain, but this time in all the colors of the rainbow.

'Wow,' was Jack’s last thought before he was met by a big weight and went down.

 

*###*###*###*

 

When he came back around, the light show was over. But he couldn’t move because the rock that had knocked him out, seemed to be still on top of him. But what a strange rock it was. It was growling and sniffing him?!

When he finally opened his eyes, the picture didn’t make anymore sense than before. Above him lay a creature he'd never seen before. Its shape was human but the face was deformed. It had strange catlike yellow eyes and ridges above them. Its teeth looked pointy and sharp and its hair seemed to be bleached. The thing was growling at the soldiers surrounding them with their weapons raised.

Jack was just starting to tell them, where they should point their weapons, when there was a flash of light and a twenty-something, dark haired man appeared. He was ordinary enough, till you came to his face. There you found his most distinguishing feature: an eye patch. He seemed to be in the process of talking to someone when the light got him, because he was still in mid-rant with someone called Dead Boy.

 

*###*###*###*

 

Xander Lavelle Harris was used to strange things happening around him. But this time it was just rude. One minute he was talking to Mr. Broody Pants, okay, more like irritating him and trying to make his eyebrow twitch, and then he was in a big grey room bare anything, save a giant metal ring with strange symbols on it, and a ramp leading up to the ring. The entrance to the room was blocked with soldiers, half of them pointing their weapons at him, and the other half at Spike who lay in game face above an old soldier-dude.

Xander did a double-take. Yes, the snarling, fuming vampire on top of what he now identified as a Colonel really was the ‘burned to charcoal champion of the light’ Spike alias William the Broody and he didn’t look too happy to have that many guns pointed at him. Come to think about, Xander himself wasn’t to euphoric about it either. Maybe he should do something about the situation? And so in full Willow-Babble-Mode he started: “Hi ya, nice room you have here… wherever here is. Mmh, you don’t have any idea how I got here, do you? Not that it isn’t nice here… maybe a bit bare on the decoration but different from the usual military style. I mean, the metal thing is a nice touch, really an artistic touch you have there. A good change from the usual grey or white inner décor. But maybe you could point your weapons in a different direction? I’m not much of a target. I’ll stay standing here, so not really a threat here. I won’t move much – or at all. And it so wasn’t my fault that I got into your base. I mean I don’t think it was my fault. I didn’t say the w-word or anything. I swear. And I know I’m repeating myself, but weapons being put down would be really nice. Really very re-assuring. And hey, I see you got our vampire, not that vampires exist! I suppose that would be like saying ET is out there. So please, guns in the other direction, pretty please? I think they also make the not-existing-creature-of-myth go all grrr-faced. So putting down the guns may be of the good. Oh, you wouldn’t happen to know a Doctor Walsh or are part of a project called ‘Initiative’? Not that I had anything to do with their base being destroyed. Nope, not lil ol’ me! But could you put your weapons down or target someone other. Erm, OK, maybe not Spike though. I mean, he seems to like your Colonel. He’s still alive, isn’t he? Oh mmh, shutting up now.” At the disbelieving stares of the soldiers surrounding him, the repeating thumps of the Colonel's head, as well as the arrival of four new people, he stopped himself. The one he recognized as a General gave the soldiers the order to leave. This was met with protest by the people standing immediately next to him, which he stopped very quickly, with a look.

“I’m General Hammond. You’re in Colorado. We also are interested in knowing how you got to be here. The man under your friend, the-not-existing-vampire, William the Bloody, is Colonel Jack O’Neill…”

Xander interrupted him. “You know Spike?” he asked, shocked.

“I met him a long time ago,” was Hammond's answer. “A story for another time. At the moment I’m more interested in getting my second in command out from under a growling vampire.”

“Maybe he should try to wiggle out from under him.” Xander proposed.

“Colonel, try it.”

 

*###*###*###*

 

Jack couldn’t believe it. Here he lay under a possibly creature – forget about it being a vampire, they didn’t exist! – and he was ordered to “wiggle out” from under it. This was the best they could come up with?! But maybe he could try it. An order was an order, and other than shooting the thing, he didn’t have a better idea.

He started to move a bit but was stopped by the creature’s growling. It began to sniff him again… And now it was licking his neck!!! Come to think of it, if it was a woman doing what it was doing, the situation would be a whole lot more promising. But it wasn’t a woman, so they needed to find a way to get him out of here in the shortest time possible.

“General, I don’t think it's gonna work,” he said finally... and Jack couldn’t believe the next proposal the boy made.

“Maybe we should try blood. Do you have any blood bags?”

What he next heard wasn’t any saner. “Major Carter, go to the infirmary and get some,” Hammond ordered.

“Could you put it in a cup and nuke it for 30 seconds?” the boy, Xander, added.

And Major Samantha Carter, the rational mind of his team and voice of reason, went to do it without any protest.

Jack let his head fall back on the ground with a thump and wondered when he’d fallen through the rabbit hole.


	2. Color me surprised

**2\. Color me surprised**

 

When Carter got back, the boy (what kind of name was Xander anyway?), tried to give it to the thing… with success. It smelled the air and eased up from its crouch above him, grabbed the cup and proceeded to drank it all down. Seeing that did nothing to increase his (nonexistent) feeling of safety.

As if sensing his distress the creature leaned back down and begun a soothing purring and petting. Jack couldn’t agree more with the boy’s muttered “What the fuck?!”

 

*###*###*###*

 

Xander was perplexed. Here he knew about vampires for years, heck he lived with Spike a couple of times, but it seemed he didn’t get the memo announcing that vampires where nothing more than giant pussycats.

But back to the current problem or make that two problems when he really thought about it. He probably should make a phone call as soon as possible, if they didn’t want the wicked witch of the east (or was it west?) to descend on them. For the first problem, maybe Angel could help them. Spike was his Childe after all. “General, I need a phone as fast as possible.”

Not two minutes later he had one. Three minutes later he tried to explain to a frantic Willow and an overprotective group of mini-slayers, one ex-watcher and one geek that yes, he was okay; no, he didn’t know how he had gotten to Colorado; yes, he said he wanted to talk to Dead Boy; yes, about Spike; no, he hadn’t hit his head; no, talking about Spike was not a code for saying he was in trouble; so could he please speak to Mister Broody?

The beginning of the talk with the man himself wasn’t any better. Yes, he knew that Spike had died in Sunny-hell; yes, he knew how Spike looked in game face; yes, he was sure it was Spike… After five minutes of this again he had enough. He whistled sharply into the phone “Angel, I mean it! Your Childe is here, very much alive or well undead. He is lying on top of a Colonel, proving the existence of things that go bump in the night and purring like a giant kitten. He’s here but nobody’s at home if you know what I mean. So what do I do to put the lights on?”

After listening some time to the instructions over the phone and a short “yes, he had.” between his only grumbled comment was “If he kills me, I will haunt you for the rest of your un-life.” Then he hung up.

 

*###*###*###*

 

Xander couldn’t believe he would consider doing that again. The one and only time it had happened before Spike was hurt really badly and he didn’t have the money to buy some human one. So he cut himself and let it bleed in a cup. Fair trade – the vampire was hurt because of him, saving him from a demon. But Dead Boy’s suggestion was different. He said Xander should let drink Spike from his wrist or neck. In Angel’s opinion Xander was part of Spike’s family because of all the times the vampire had saved him and because Xander had let him live with him and had given him his blood voluntary. So Spike had imprinted his scent and heartbeat. Angel was sure that Spike would recognize him and stop in plenty of time to avoid draining Xander. But since when did he trust Mister Broody Xander asked himself. Apparently since right now. “Anyone have a pocket knife?” he asked and proceeded to remove his shirt… and whirled in shock when someone behind him whistled in appreciation.

Xander didn’t seem to be the only one surprised. Every other person in the room, expect Spike, looked in amazement at the big black man standing next to the General. Thankfully, that meant that no-one could see his blush, could they?

 

*###*###*###*

 

Jack gave up. This day was getting crazier by the minute. Now Teal’c, Mister I-don’t-show-any-feelings-at-any-given-time, started acting like a stereotypical construction worker, whistling at any pretty young thing that happened by. He needed to have a talk with whoever was responsible for the big guy’s education and entertainment, stat. But apparently he didn’t need to look far. Danny Boy and Carter both wore grins any Cheshire Cat would be proud of… and Teal’c wasn’t any better. Once he would have believed the “oh I’m so ignorant of your Tauri customs” mask, but not anymore. That didn’t stop the alien from asking (with a butter wouldn’t melt in my mouth expression of pure innocence!); “Is it not right, O’Neill, that in your culture one should blow his lips when someone is pleasing to his eyes?”

 

*###*###*###*

 

Xander didn’t think he could get any redder but he was wrong. Not that he was attracted to men… no, not him, thank you very much! But it was nice to get a bit of admiration. And maybe they could finish this before he could try to get any redder? “A pocket knife?” he asked again.

 

*###*###*###*

 

‘The whelp did it again.’ Spike’s awakening was abrupt. ‘Need to remember what kind of trouble – fun, I mean fun - I had.’ Then he became aware of the person under him and his own purring. ‘Xan will never let me forget this,’ came the dry thought tinted with increasing horror.

He opened his eyes and looked around. Bare walls, big metal thing with symbols on it, people in uniform, one of them definitely not human, Georgie… Spike stopped and took an second look. Yes, still Georgie. So the situation shouldn’t be too bad and apparently they were in Colorado. The question remained, how he and the whelp had gotten here, but for now they should be safe. Safe enough that he could take the time to catch a look at the person - no, make that really grumpy person – under him. Greying hair, well built, he took a sniff. No wonder his demon liked him. Grumpy smelled real inviting, like he might to be fun to play with. Maybe he should get more comfortable. The soldier really looked like he made a nice pillow.

 

*###*###*###*

 

So the thing had some tricks up his sleeve. Jack looked into the face of a – if he swung that way, he'd say handsome – young man. Irritated he snarked “Do you intend to get up any time this century?”

Maybe he shouldn’t have. The creature - Spike, he reminded himself – seemed to enjoy his edginess. It – him - settled more comfortably on him and made a point to brush against his body in as many places as possible.

 

*###*###*###*

 

Xander couldn’t believe his eyes. Didn’t Spike just get a new chance at life? Now he threw it away for a flirtatious romp with a Colonel who by nature of being in the military lived by a creed of ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell’ but which was in action more along the lines of ‘Don’t tell, live another day unharmed’. And for this Xander sacrificed his precious blood?

“Hey, bleached wonder,” he interrupted the bizarre scene before him. “Any ideas why you’re alive and why the both of us are here? I didn’t get an invitation asking if I’d like to attend this shindig, did you?”

The vampire sat up slightly, still comfortably sprawled atop the Colonel and answered him; “No card, sorry to disappoint, whelp. Not to say that I’m unhappy to be here and undead again.”

“So the DPTFUOLA didn’t leave any instructions huh? What do we do?” Xander asked.

Spike was interrupted before he could reply by a question from whistle guy, who cocked his head at the unfamiliar word, “What does DPTFUOLA mean?”

In chorus Xander and Spike answered: “The Damn Powers that fucked up our lives again.” Then Spike continued to answer Xander's question, “No idea but I’m comfy. I think I’m staying.”

“On me?” Xander heard the grumpy Colonel asking.


	3. Ring-a-ring-a-roses

**3\. Ring-a-ring-a-roses**

 

In the end only the promise of hot chocolate with mini-marshmallows got Spike moving. But after tasting the local brew, he regretted agreeing. He had forgotten that no military cafeteria could compare with the slayer’s mother. Maybe it wasn’t too late to ask for Jim Beam? Better yet…, speculative he looked at the man sitting next to him. Maybe he could get soldier boy to lie down again?

 

*###*###*###*

 

Major General George Hammond had expected Jack’s reaction. He had known his second in command long enough, same as Spike. Just because he hadn’t seen the vampire for ten years didn’t mean he couldn’t predict Spike’s reactions in certain situations. What was unexpected, was what Teal’c did.

The group’s transfer to the conference room went without any problems. But as Hammond had expected when it came to the seating arrangements the difficulties began. After the remaining introductions were made the General and O’Neill took their usual seats and the fun began. Spike had hurried to sit down in the chair next to the Colonel, a wide grin gracing his face.

On the other side of the table first Major Samantha Carter sat down, followed by Xander Harris and then Dr. Daniel Jackson took the next seat. Teal’c stayed standing behind the Doctor and stared at him. The normally observant archaeologist who was talking to his colleague and the newcomers remained obvious. Teal’c cleared his throat, getting no reaction. He did it again - louder. On the opposite side of the table the first snickers could be heard, coming from a certain Colonel and vampire. A louder throat clearing was followed by louder snickers. A series of throat clearing, a series of snickers – both parties getting louder and louder. Even a throat clearing accompanied by a short rattle on Jacksons’s chair still failed to bring success. But the full blown laughter that followed did get the archaeologist’s attention. Colonel O’Neill’s pointed look behind him did the rest. With a gulp he slid over one seat, letting the smug Jaffa sit down in his chair.

Hammond breathed a sigh of relief as Spike was distracted by the arriving hot chocolate, preventing the snarky comment he knew was forthcoming. But his relief was short lived. After the vampire’s first taste the General could tell that the beverage wasn’t up to the vampire’s standards, and this could only mean trouble. After all the time he had known Spike he knew the current look on his face brought chaos and destruction in its wake. For the time being he would just watch the events unfold, and though he wouldn’t admit it, he was waiting with a bit of anticipation. There was one thing Spike never was and that was boring… Okay, maybe it was also a bit of revenge on his second in command and his team. The people he was certain would have been responsible for the loss of his hair, if he still had any!

It all started slowly. First there were only glances, then as the Colonel become distracted, occupied in a discussion about the possibilities of how and why their guests arrived, the comedy unfolded.

 

*###*###*###*

 

Spike knew he hadn’t had the greatest success rate in the past with carrying out his plans but he could be sneaky. He said so, so it had to be. Because it seemed more and more unlikely that he would get soldier boy to lay down again, Spike thought the next best thing would be annoy him. To accomplish that Spike decided the best course of action would be to sit in the soldier’s lap. So he slowly stalked his target. Bit by bit he moved his chair closer while Jack was occupied with talking. Inch by inch, foot by foot – just a little bit more and he could jump on soldier boy’s lap…

No! He was thwarted! When he moved he found an empty chair and his target had fled around the table to sit next to Daniel. Unfortunately that also had hurt because that chair had fallen when Jack fled. Spike meet chair edge and ground, ground meet Spike. Not a pleasant meeting thank you very much! But if soldier boy thought he was safe now, he better think again. Pouting the vampire looked over the table edge. Thank God for the inventor of conference tables. The advantage of them was obvious: Lots of space for many free seats. Spike got up, stalked around the table, and sat down next to the Colonel, who threw him a look and went back to his first seat. Only to be followed by the vampire. He fled again, he was followed. Flight, hunt, flight, hunt, flight, hunt… Enough was enough!

 

*###*###*###*

 

Just as Xander wanted to suggest they add some music to the weird version of musical chairs the two men seemed to be playing, Spike succeeded in sitting down in the Colonel’s lap. The vampire proceeded to wiggle around and defied the Colonel’s tries to throw him off. When that didn’t stop Jack, Spike petted his check and told him: “Shh, you’re comfy, luv.”

The look on the Colonel’s face didn’t promise anything good, so Xander decided to intervene:  
“Spike, they’re military!”

“Aaand?”

“Don’t ask?” he elaborated.

“Don’t ask what?”

“Don’t ask, don’t tell!”

“Don’t ask and tell what?!”

The vampire couldn’t really be that ignorant, could he? “Duh, they’re military. There are no gays in the military!”

“Who told you this fairytale?” Spike asked perplexed.

Okay, now he was sure the vampire was making fun of him. “I’m not saying there aren’t gay people IN the military; they just pretend they don’t know if there are, hence DADT.”

“Don’t care. ‘m not soldier.” Spike tried to burrow deeper into Jack by rearranging his arms.

Wondering when Spike became suicidal, cuz he was clearly crazy, daring, weary of life, crack-brained! Damn, he couldn’t think of enough words to describe Spike’s behaviour. Maybe brainless… his musings and any possible answer he could have thought of were interrupted by the General.

“Will, sit down in your own chair, please. We need to talk and we can’t do it when you two are sitting like this. You can continue to tease him later.” A contradiction forming on both parties lips was stopped immediately. “That’s my final word on the subject. No arguing.” They tried it nevertheless.

“But Georgie…”

“General, he…”

“No, I said, my last word. Will, in your own chair.”

A grumbling vampire followed the order, but didn’t let them stop him from sliding his seat a bit closer to the Colonel’s.

‘Maniacal, clearly maniacal,’ was Xander thought. Anything to distract himself from the strangely intense looks the big black dude was shooting him. The black guy – Teal’c, his name was Teal’c, strange name - hadn’t done anything negative. It was just… He was… weird? Too polite? He offered Xander something to drink, something to eat, his formal way of speaking… not to forget that he had also tried Spike’s chair-sneaking trick. Did he think Xander was stupid? That already hadn’t worked with the soldier. Why should he be more stupid than the Colonel? Damn, now he was trapped. Teal’c had used his distraction to inch closer. The only chance he had would be, if he jumped on Lieutenant Carters lap. Maybe he could try being polite before he copied the Colonel and made a run for it. “Would you please move your chair back? I feel crowded.”

 

*###*###*###*

 

A kindergarten. He led a kindergarten. General Hammond shook his head. “Gentlemen, if we could concentrate on the topic at hand?”

“What about her? Why isn’t she included?” a pouting vampire asked, pointing to Major Carter.

“She,” the Major herself answered. “Hasn’t said or done anything to take part in your little comedy.”


	4. Cowboys n’ injuns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank yous for the chapter title goes to MJ.

**4\. Cowboys n’ injuns**

 

They needed another half hour until all the affronted parties were calmed down again and Hammond could speak without screaming: “Gentlemen… and Miss. We need to discuss how these two people got here. Anyone have any ideas?”

“Magic” was followed by “Asgards”, “The Powers”, “Demons”, “Ethan Rayne” and “Gate malfunction” as the discussion continued. Any proposition was met by an outcry of indignation: “Magic?! What are you, six?! Magic doesn’t exist!”

“Sure magic exists!”

“Asads? Is that a type of demons? Spike, have you ever met them?”

“Asgards! It’s Asgards, and it’s classified. And I have to say: first magic, now demons! What asylum did you two lunatics escape from?!”

“Hey, no fucking Powers are making my decisions for me! My life is mine! There’s nobody other than me deciding about it!”

“Yeah, but only because you aren’t important to the Powers! Me, I’m important! I died saving the world and got resurrected!”

“And? Danny does that every few months!”

“Rayne? Who is he?”

“Chaos mage with a twisted sense of humour.”

“…!!!”

“Did you say that thing in the room is a gate?! Where does it lead to? Does it work with magic?”

“Ha, magic, NO WAY!!! And it’s classified too.”

“With you everything is classified! Sodding military!”

Finally they had to agree to disagree about the existence of magic and the Powers and had to admit that they had too little information to come to a satisfying conclusion. Only the exhibition Spike put on, convinced the team to accept the existence of vampires and demons at least. After a pause Spike presented a proposition: “Maybe we could ask the Oracles, if they know anything. I think anyway, that the Powers did it.”

“Yeah,” answered Xander “We could ask them but the Powers don’t usually do the transporting. They just send a messenger and order you around. The Buffster told us about this guy they send to her. Whips, Whiffy, Whisky, Whisker... Whistler, the guy’s name was Whistler!”

“I think m’ Sire knows the guy too. But shouldn’t they have already sent someone if it was them?” asked Spike.

Xander shrugged with his shoulders. “No idea. I’m no Champion. But I’m needed in LA anyway, so I have to go back soon. I can ask Angel to talk to them. Spike, you coming with me or do you want to stay here till we know anything?”

“Need to ask Georgie first if we are allowed to go, whelp.” Spike answered.

“I see no problem with it but you to have to sign a non-disclosure agreement. Afterwards we can get you on a plane if you want.” The General answered. “Spike, I know it doesn’t mean anything to you but please honour the agreement in remembrance of our friendship.”

“Ehm, about that, where do you two know each other from?” a curious Jack O’Neill and Xander Harris asked in union.

Hammond and Spike got a reminiscent look on their faces as they thought back to their first meeting.

 

*###*###*###*

 

 _Flashback, first part (Hammond’s view)_

 

Four year old George Hammond – five in two weeks - was bored. Really bored. He sat on the table in the city hall, swinging his legs back and forth and watched the grownups talking, drinking and dancing. Originally, he was gonna stay at home but his babysitter had broken her foot and his parents weren’t able to get a substitute with such a short notice. Because his mom was one of the organizers not going wasn’t an option. Both his parents had looked forward to the fundraiser for months and thought it wouldn’t be a problem to take their son with them. Not to forget that his mom would never let her two men alone at home again after the incident with the banana, the chocolate, the milk and the washing powder. They didn’t tell her about the dog, the cat and the horse but afterwards the kitchen needed a completely renovation.

So now he was here. The only child under twelve years, with nothing to do and no-one to play with. His parents were on the dance floor and had begged the elderly couple at their table to look out for him while they danced for a bit. George had nothing against them. They were nice and had played “I spy” with him. But now they were talking with friends and he had sat at the table such a looong time. There just had to be something more fun he could do. Slowly he slid from his chair and ducked under table. From there he looked cautiously around the room planning his next step, hidden by the long tablecloth. If he planned it right, he could get across the room unnoticed and hide in the shadows. From there he wouldn’t have any problem getting to the door and out exploring. His daddy loved to tell him stories about cowboys and Indians and also stories about spies. When his daddy took time off from working on their ranch and played with George he had taught him how to stalk and pounce on the ‘enemy’ known as mom. So now he knew what to do. It would be reeeal easy! He just pretended he was a scout for the army and had to re…. recon… Reconnoitre! enemy territory.

One glance assured him that his sitters were still occupied, so he careful risked the first few steps. When no-one took notice of him he ran as fast as he could to his first target and hid. After reassuring himself again that there was nobody watching him, George followed the wall till he reached the doors and could get out. Freedom, yeah!!! A bit undecided he stood in the hallway. Now that he had escaped from the ball room he wasn’t sure where to go. On one hand he wanted to explore but on the other most of the building lay in darkness and he sooo didn’t like the dark. There were monsters in there! Weighing his options George decided to follow the lit hallway till he came to the coat-check room. The door stood open and the room’s lights were on. He risked a quick glance around the corner. Nobody there – perfect!

The room itself wasn’t that exciting. George had wanted more of an adventure. But there were several knick-knacks spread around it. So he ‘admired’ Miss March’s award-winning quilt, Misters Smith’s photos of their town and several pictures painted by adult and child residents, one from George himself. Best was he could sit in the winning vehicle of the last soapbox derby and make car-noises. He would so love to take part in the yearly event but his mom had forbidden it. She had told him he was still too small! Just because he was smaller then most children his age didn’t mean he couldn’t do stuff! Taking part in the derby one of them! Hmpf! His momma was sooo anxious! He was a big boy, not a baby!!!

Voices coming nearer had George looking for a hiding-place. The clothes rack seemed perfect. It was much too early to get caught. He hadn’t finished exploring. The ‘enemy’ must not find him and hiding behind the jackets and coats was his best chance. Now he just had to pretend to be a mouse. No, not a mouse! Mice were sooo small! He just imagined he had to sneak in the enemy’s camp to free his comrades. He had to wait until the enemy passed by and he had to be reeeally quiet, so they didn’t hear him.

 

*###*###*###*

 

 _Flashback, second part (Spike’s view)_

 

Spike had no idea what he was doing in this godforsaken town. He was looking for Drusilla who had vanished again ten nights ago. A demon told him she had been seen in this area before Spike killed him. His first impression of the improbability of the assertion, why should she go to no man’s land in Texas for fuck’s sake, had proved well-founded. They usually avoided small towns because the people there were wary of strangers. Vampires much preferred the anonymity of big cities. So it didn’t make any sense that she would have come here. But with his Princess you never knew, she wasn’t one for sense. So he followed this tip too after all his other leads didn’t pan out. Problem was, the car he had stolen had broken down two miles back. He had hidden till sunset and then had walked to the next town in hope of finding a new vehicle and maybe a meal.

You could only say one thing about this dump: It was bloody small. And apparently every resident was assembled at the city hall according to the flyer he had found. That meant he had a choice of cars but no one to nibble on. But let it not be said that he wasn’t an optimist. Maybe there would be some couples or smokers outside. Unlikely because it was a very cold night but hey, stupid people existed for a reason…

City hall wasn’t hard to miss. It was brightly illuminated. Spike took the open doors as invitation and entered the building. He followed the hallway till he was distracted by a noise. “Brm, brm, brmmm, brmmm, brm, tuuuut.” A boy. Any decisions he could make were disrupted by nearing voices. Thinking it better not to be seen he rounded the corner in a dark hallway and waited. Seemed that the child didn’t want to be found either. The vampire was amused to hear him whisper: “I’m a mouse, I’m a mouse. No, not a mouse, too small. I’m a big boy! I’m a… I’m a scout. I will rescue the prisoners from the enemy. Yes, I’m the scout. Pst, need to be reeeally quit. Maybe I could be invisible too? Ssh, don’t talk. The enemy is here. Ssh.”

After the couple had disappeared again, Spike walked to the room the child was in. Slightly curious now, he looked around the corner. The little bugger had found a good hidey hole. Nothing was able to be seen but the vampire could hear him muttering “Be quiet scout or the enemy will hear you. Need to wait a bit till coast is clear.”

“It’s a little too late, pup.” Spike gave his opinion. “Come on out.”

“I’m not a pup. Doggies are pups. Me, I’m a boy.” The child answered, only letting part of his face be visible. “Who are you?”

“Name’s Spike. What are you doing alone out here?”

“It was boring in there. Mummy and Daddy are dancing. I wanted to do something fun too.”

“So, you went to play in the coat-check room? Doesn’t sound like fun to me.”

“I was exploring. And it’s fun. I play it a lot with my dog.”

“If you say so. Won’t your parents looking for you? You should go back in. Little buggers like you get lost easily.”

“But it’s boring in there. My friends are all at home and my mommy and my daddy want to dance.”

“And you, why don’t you dance with them?”

“You’re silly. They want to dance together because they are in looove. Miss Ems said so. She said I should let them dance alone.”

“Doesn’t mean you can’t dance with them later. What’s your name?”

“George Hammond. I’m four but in two weeks is my birthday. Then I’m this much.” Proud the boy showed the five fingers of his hand to Spike.

The vampire was amused. “So, you’re a big boy. What would you say we go in and show them how to dance?”

“You’ll dance with me?! Neat!” Excited the pup jumped out of his hiding place. “I love to dance. I dance with my mom in the kitchen everyday!”

The two got back in the dance hall and were met by frantic parents. “Where were you, Georgie? We were looking for you. You can’t just disappear. We were afraid something had happened!”

“I didn’t disappear. I went exploring. And then I needed to rescue my comrades, and then I was discovered. But that wasn’t so bad. Spike will dance with me, so I’m not bored anymore. And Miss Ems said you need to dance alone because you’re in love and don’t need me for dancing. And first I played with Mr and Mrs Spencer ‘I spy’ but then they talked with friends and I got bored…”

“Georgie… Georgie! You can dance with us every time you want. We love to dance with you. Okay?” told the woman to her son. ”Now, how about you introduce your friend to us.”

“That’s Spike. He promised to dance with me, so I’m not bored anymore. And I’m George. Georgie is for babies and you have said I’m a big boy now.”

“Yes, I will remember it but you will be my baby forever and ever.”

“Mooom!” George’s tortured wail interrupted his mom.

“My name is Louisa Hammond. That’s my husband Nathaniel. We’re really thankful you brought him back. Some days it’s really difficult to keep track of the little whirlwind.” His mom continued unstoppable.

“My pleasure. I’m William Pratt” Spike answered.

“But you said your name is Spike. Are you a liar?” the pup threw in a hurt interjection.

“Spike’s a nickname. Like your mom calling you Georgie and I bet she calls your dad Nate.”

George looked happy again, so Spike continued to speak to the parents. “I was stoppin’ to get something to eat, but it seems whole town is at this party here. Do you know anything that still is open so I could get a bite?”

“He can eat here, can’t he? He still has to dance with me!” George spoke at the same time as his mom.

“You can eat here. There’s more than enough and you won’t find anything open.”

“If it doesn’t cause any problems, I would love to accept.” Damn, that was exactly what shouldn’t have happened. Too much attention and his only way out was to accept the invitation. Drusilla would have killed the boy as soon as she saw him, but Spike never liked to kill children. They weren’t really a challenge and not enough blood to be sated. He liked his meal to be more of a challenge, so adults were more his style. Preferably bad guys, so he also got a spot of violence in at the same time. Problem was the little guy had reminded Spike of his little brother. Emmett died when he was six years old, of influenza. He also had an active imagination and loved to play fantasy games, exactly like George. Some days Spike still missed him. The boy’s commentary had woken a memory so strong he just had to see what the child was doing. Spike also hadn’t planned on bringing the boy back to his parents and promising him a dance.

The parents wanted to lead Spike to their table but George insisted they dance first. He whined till his parents gave in after being assured that he did not mind dancing first. Spike lifted George up and settled the little boy on his hip. He took one of the boy’s hands and they started to waltz around the dance floor skilful avoiding the other dancers and doing as many whirls as possible. Good thing vampires didn’t get dizzy easily. George liked it too. He was laughing and exulting and spurred Spike on to whirl faster and faster. Spike ate something, danced three more times with George and once with his mom. Then he took his leave. He had stolen one of the cars on the street and had continued to search for Drusilla.

One and a half years later when Drusilla had left again but this time told him where she was off to, Spike got bored and returned to the town. He had gotten the Hammond’s address without any problems and the following night he visited the boy, knocking on his window and waking him up. George had recognized him immediately. They had talked half the night away and the boy told Spike his dreams of being a soldier like his uncle. Spike could never remember why but during that night he told George also about him being a vampire and the true nightlife. George and he had a fun time. Their only difficulties were created by Spike’s insistence on calling the boy ‘Georgie’. Spike stayed two more nights and then went after Drusilla.

They met again several times afterwards. When the boy grew up and got his own apartment with a telephone they occasionally talked when Spike could call him. So Spike knew where George was most of the time, but after he was posted to NORAD Spike was told the same cover story as everyone else. The vampire told George that he knew he was lying and they agreed to not talk about it, the same way they agreed not to talk about Spike’s more gruesome escapades.


	5. Back to the beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original lyrics of “Leaving on a Jet Plane” belong to John Denver.

**5\. Back to the beginning**

 

After Spike and Xander signed the non-disclosure agreements nothing stood in the way of their return to Los Angeles. General Hammond obtained two seats for a night flight on a military plane – which really didn’t sit well with a certain grumbling vampire, who told him several times in a very loud voice and in the most public parts of the base possible, that he didn’t trust the ‘bloody’ military as far as Xander could throw them. Hey, vampire here! He could throw a man a lot further than he trusted them at any time.

The good-byes were… interesting to say the least. Carter and Jackson were amused bystanders watching the play unfold before them. Hammond was saying good-bye to a good friend he spoke with often on the phone. Jack… Spike pouted. Jack didn’t need to be so glad to see Spike go! He pretty much shoved Spike out the base entrance and into the car and waved to get the vampire to leave faster. Under his breath the vampire could hear the Colonel sing: “ ‘Cause you’re leaving on a jet plane. Hope you won’t be back again. Oh, I love to see you go…” That was just so…grrr! He hadn’t done anything evil, he had actually been quite well behaved, Spike thought. He just wanted to tease the soldier a bit. Didn’t anyone have any idea of fun in the armed forces anymore? And couldn’t Jack stop singing this sodding song! “Now the time has come that you leave me, One more time let me hit you, Then I close my eyes And you have disappeared…” That was just so… childish. Damn! Spike had to admit to himself that he loved it. The message was clear, not that it would have prevented the vampire from continuing his campaign if they had stayed, and now he was sure he wouldn’t get the stupid song out of his head for the next few hours – original and bastardized version both! And they said he was evil! Grumbling he got in the car, followed by Xander who seemed to have his own kind of problems, if the speed with which he jumped in the car was anything to judge by.

 

*###*###*###*

 

Teal’c was not pouting. He was a Jaffa. Jaffa were warriors. Warriors did not pout. Pouting was for children when they didn’t get their way. He was not a child, he was an adult. Ergo, he did not pout! And must O’Neill be so damn happy to see them leave, Teal’c (didn’t) pout. He himself would have loved to get to know Xander Harris better.

 

*###*###*###*

 

Xander wouldn’t admit to anyone but himself that he was fleeing. The big black guy just was… scary. Wherever they had gone Teal’c had followed, not that they were allowed to see much of the base but it needed to be repeated: everywhere Xander and Spike were, Teal’c was. It wouldn't have been too bad, if he had been one of their escorts but they had two airmen who were assigned that duty. Teal’c seemed to be a nice guy, apart from his stalkerish tendencies, but there just was something different about him… Half the time they were together the guy held his tummy. Maybe he had a permanent stomach ache? On the other hand he had caught Jack asking Teal’c if Junior was causing problems. Maybe the big guy wasn’t really a guy but a girl. Xander hadn’t asked Spike if Teal’c was a demon. He was sure what the vampire’s reaction would have been if he had shown the slightest interest for the man. But if he was a she and he/she was pregnant that would explain Jack’s question and the slight movement Xander had seen under the shirt. Not that he/she had a baby belly. But it would explain why Teal’c was attracted to him. Evil women just couldn’t let him be! On the other hand Teal’c didn’t sound like a female name and he/she - damn, it! - didn’t look like a woman to Xander. Ouch, now his head hurt! What did he know about demons? Maybe in Teal’c’s species the women looked all buff. He needed to get away. Needed to go! Immediately! Thankfully at this moment the car started to move. Now if Spike would stop humming everything would be just fine. He never would have taken the vampire for a John Denver Fan.

Their flight to Los Angeles was much too long for Xander’s taste. If he heard ‘Leaving on a Jet Plane’ once more, he was going to lose it. He was really, really, really tempted to see if vampires got bruises when you tried to strangle them. They took a taxi to the Hyperion and Xander breathed a sigh of relief as the Hotel came into view. He paid the driver and walked to the entrance where Spike was waiting for him. They went in, the vampire edging slightly behind Xander. As he saw Angel and Buffy standing together in the reception hall, surrounded by mini-slayers, Xander couldn’t stop himself from shouting: “Mummy! Daddy! Look what followed me h…” The room and the people around Spike and Xander disappeared in white light.

 

*###*###*###*

 

“…ome!” The sentence while started in one location concluded in another.

“Oh, fer cryin’ out loud! Not again!” a certain Colonel found himself back under a certain vampire. Said vampire tried to get comfortable but the situation had changed. His comfortable pillow had too many bumps this time. Seemed it had plans for the day that included weapons. But no-one had ever denied that Spike wasn’t persistent when he wanted to be. He wiggled here and there till he found a semi-comfortable position, winked coquettish with his eyes and asked: “Did you miss me?”

 

*###*###*###*

 

Jack was sure that this wasn’t his day. Strike that! He was sure it wasn’t his week! And if this continued, by the end of it he would have a giant concussion! He really needed to stop meeting the concrete flooring with his head. Or Spike needed to stop falling on him. Yes, that was it! The damn vampire was to blame! If Spike didn’t constantly throw himself at him, Jack wouldn’t be at risk for a concussion!

Jack decided he needed to act like a man and deal with it. Though, he did have a team for a reason… Carefully, he glanced out of the corner of his eye at his teammates. He should have expected it. Carter and Daniel weren’t even bothering to hide their amusement. His glares only encouraged them in their behaviour, as their smirks turned into full blown laughter. And hey, if he listened really hard, he was sure he also heard laughter from the observation/command room above them. You would think a General would be above such juvenile behaviour?! And the soldiers in the room with Jack? The Colonel was sure he saw money changing hands too…

Okay, there was Carter, and Danny. There still was one person missing. He looked around, and around, and around… Huh? The sounds of struggle near his feet distracted him from his scrutiny of the Gate room. Jack blinked… he blinked again… yep, still the same. Slowly his face morphed in a grin. “Hah, this time I’m not the only one! Yes!” If he could have moved, Jack would have jumped with joy. Since he couldn’t, he contented himself with trying to pump his fists in the air. Not easy trapped in a supine position but it needed to be done.

 

*###*###*###*

 

Why him? Xander would never admit it to anyone but at the moment there was a whining voice in his head. Not only did he endure a whole two hour flight forced to listen to Spike’s singing. Now they were back where they started, the entire trip taken in vain. He was nowhere near his friends, lying on a being that may be male or female, a demon or not, pregnant or not. Okay, that last bit was becoming more of a sure thing. There was definitely something moving in there. But it might not be a baby. He wasn’t an expert but he was sure an embryo shouldn’t have the ability to poke out of mama’s stomach to take a look around!

Freaked out he tried to jump up but Teal’c arms clasped him and didn’t let go. Need to get away! “Let me go!” Xander screamed at Teal’c and continued struggling and yelling till he was free. In a panic he sprinted across the room, putting as much distance as possible between them. No, no, no! Demon magnet was one thing but he sooo didn’t do tentacles and extra appendages!


	6. My dessert was Spiked

**6\. My dessert was Spiked**

 

They were back in the conference room and Xander insisted on staying in the corner closest to the door, yet farthest away from Teal’c. They could do anything they wanted but he was not getting anywhere near that creature as long as there was a possibility that something would try to undress, pet, mate, torture, eat or kill him. He was sick and tired of being the demon-magnet. And when they cleared this points up, they could also tell him, at the same time, if Teal’c was a man or a woman. This whole he/she – thing was making his head hurt.

 

*###*###*###*

 

General Hammond sighed. Thanks to Junior’s hyperactivity it seemed they wouldn’t be able to avoid explaining aliens to their visitors. He could try to play it off as a demon but he was afraid of his star team’s reaction and feared that it would do little to help Xander calm down. Not to mention that Spike would know he lied and the vampire had never had any problems with calling him on his lies in the past, especially when the vampire’s curiosity was aroused. He was worse than any cat, never letting anything go till he was happy.

“Everyone sit down, please. Xander, we’ll explain everything in a minute but let me reassure you that you’re safe here. Nobody will hurt you.” Hammond started the explanations. “Teal’c will sit at the far end of the table until we have convinced you that there’s nothing dangerous about him. Is that acceptable?”

He let Daniel do his usual lecture on the history of the Stargate and the Goa’ulds. Then they came to the demonstration portion of the lecture. “Teal’c is a Jaffa. The Goa’ulds use some of their slaves as incubators and implante them with symbiotes. The infant Goa’uld replaces the immune system, giving them faster healing and longer lives while increasing their dependency on their ‘Gods’. They are also stronger and faster. They serve as both foot soldiers and guards. Teal'c was the First Prime of Apophis. He helped us escape the first time we faced Apophis, a Goa'uld system lord with delusions of godhood." Xander and Spike exchanged worried glances. This situation seemed awfully familiar. Daniel continued his speech without noticing the brief exchange in contrast to Jack and Teal'c who had observed the reaction of the two. "Since then Teal'c fights with us against the Goa'ulds. He still has his symbiote. Teal’c, if you would…” Daniel motioned to the alien’s shirt.

 

*###*###*###*

 

Xander’s first shock had come when Teal’c took off his shirt. He had a well-built upper body… if you ignored his stomach and the opening there, as well as the reason for Xander’s second shock: the symbiote seemed to fixate on him. Everywhere Xander moved it seemed to sniff him out. Hadn’t Doctor Jackson said the thing couldn’t do anything without a host? Seemed to him it was doing it’s best to get a new host, him! But nope, not him! No thank you, mister!

Xander didn’t know what to do. He really needed to tell his brain to close his mouth before he said something Teal’c would misunderstand. He didn’t want to insult the very big man. No, not him. He still had a lot to live for. But that thing was just so… he wasn’t sure how to describe it but it had some similarities with the worms from the “Tremors” movies. And they could say what they wanted – that was surely a bad sign. Xander knew how most of the people in those movies faired. Not to mention the symbiote was giving him Graduation flashbacks, to the Mayor in all his demony, Snyder eating, evil. After graduation Xander had never looked at snakes, caterpillars, earthworms and eels in the same way again. He had to agree with Spike who had said, after the first glance at the Goa’uld larva, “Ugly bugger you have there.” Teal’c may be a nice guy, but this thing sure seemed demon-y to him. Hey, it liked him, so he knew it was at least a little evil. He remembered when Spike stayed with him, the first nights in the basement after he got chipped and exiled from Giles’. One night Spike got drunk and told him the same thing, that the vampire liked him, Xander. So, there was ample evidence of evil liking him just a little too much. After all the vampire was once one fourth of the Scourge of Europe, that meant evil vampire, evil MALE vampire, which in turn meant not only evil women liked him. Evil men did too. If he remembered right Doctor Jackson had said that the Goa’uld larvae didn’t have a gender. Which meant they were female and male, that meant he was doomed!

 

*###*###*###*

 

Teal’c was perplexed. Not that anyone could see it when they looked at him. But Teal’c was indeed perplexed. He had never seen his symbiote reacting to anyone in the manner it reacted to Xander Harris. As soon has Teal’c had taken his shirt off, his symbiote had leaned out as far as it could without falling out. A freaked out Xander had taken to hiding behind the numerous people in the room as he moved about, trying to get away from it. The young man went from the vampire to O’Neill, from there to Daniel Jackson, then Samantha Carter, General Hammond and back to Spike… without success! For a wormlike being without ears or a nose, that lived most of his life in the dark and hence shouldn’t be able to see or smell very well because of this, it sure knew where Xander was hiding.

Also new were the mental impressions he got from the larva. Never before had Teal’c gotten such strong impressions and feelings from it. At the moment he was bombarded with feelings of possessiveness and ownership. Teal’c got the impression that his symbiote wanted Xander not as his host but as his possession in a “catch him and never let go” – kind of way. Not so different from his intentions, if you ignored the feelings of domination. His symbiote wanted Xander Harris as his submissive mate, servant and slave. Teal’c wanted him as his equal. Xander Harris wore the scars of many fights and was strong willed. Teal’c could not imagine the man submitting to anyone for any length of time. But for the time being maybe they could work toward the same goal. Teal’c had the feeling that the next attempt by their guests to get back home would also have minimal success. That meant with patience he would have enough time to convince Xander his symbiote wouldn’t jump him and take over his body.

Teal’c’s musing was interrupted by General Hammond. Apparently the base commander had acknowledged the futility of the continuing their meeting and decided on concluding the explanations. “Gentlemen, your flight leaves in two hours. We should finish this meeting. I must remind you that the new information also falls under the nondisclosure agreement you previously signed. I hope this time you get to stay with your family. Good voyage,” and he quieter he added, “or welcome back in a several hours. Try not to land on any one next time”.

 

*###*###*###*

 

It was disappointing. Xander and Spike didn’t even reach Los Angeles this time. They disappeared only one hour into the flight. Thankfully, they did not have to explain their disappearance out of a flying plane. Xander was more than willing to let the General guy deal with the explanations.

Spike’s return was met with a loud rant from Jack “No, no, no! Not only do I have a headache from your constant attempts to give me a concussion by landing right on top of me, but now you also have to ruin my dessert. That’s a horrible waste of perfectly good jello!” The vampire was sitting on a table in the base cafeteria, surrounded by Jack, Daniel and Sam. His clothes were a mess of cake and jello. He was still a bit stunned by the rapid change of location and the unexpected landing place (wasn’t he a good little vampire who deserved to land in his favourite lap?), but Jack’s complaint needed an answer immediately. Why waste a perfect opportunity?

“Nothing is lost yet, you know. You could lick me clean.” Holding out an arm to Jack, he leered.

“Not with the clothes on!”

“If that’s your only objection…” Spike looked at Daniel. “Hey Doc, make yourself useful. Get a new jello.” The vampire turned back to Jack and started to undress.

Jack moaned, looked for a clean corner of the table and banged his head repeatedly on it. Ouch, BAD idea! Now he was to blame for his own headache.

 

*###*###*###*

 

Xander was really starting to get annoyed, and was planning on introducing whoever kept transporting him (and presumably, Spike) back to the base to his favourite battle axe. He had landed in Teal’c’s lap, who was meditating or something. The alien had his eyes closed but opened them moments after Xander’s landing and wrapped his arms around the one-eyed man. Xander would swear the big guy was lewdly smirking at him behind his unemotional mask. The worm sure seemed happy to see him if the movement under Teal’c’s shirt was anything to go by. “Hello, how are you? Long time no seen. Could you let me go please? I need to call Willow and the gang… again?” Xander babbled. His feelings at the moment swayed between freaking out and getting bored. You only could have the same thing happen to you again and again before it lost its excitement. Fortunately Teal’c led him to the General’s office without complaint nor delay. They met his lost travelling companion there and Xander really didn’t want to know why Spike was covered in what looked like jello and cake, or why the Colonel sat collapsed in a chair with his hands over his eyes and wailing “I’m blind!”


	7. Play with me?

**7\. Play with me?**

 

How does that saying go? Third time’s a charm. Whoever said that lied. Their third attempt didn’t work either. Spike and Xander didn’t even get to the airport. They didn’t even reach the road to the airport. This time the boundary was the damn entrance to NORAD! A totally frustrated duo found themselves led back to the all too well-known conference room to discuss what they would do next.

“Any suggestions?” asked General Hammond.

A grumpy Spike exchanged glances with an equally grumpy Xander and told Hammond: “Yeah, gimme the phone.”

“Time to call Deadboy?” Xander asked. Spike only threw him a resigned grimace.

 

*###*###*###*

 

They told the L.A. and the Sunnydale gangs that they were unsuccessful in trying to get to L.A. yet again. They didn’t tell them however that this time they didn’t even make it off the damn base. The reactions last time were enough. After the explanations, they could hear laughter that no one even tried to suppress. And then there were the questions in the background, the phone being handed around, the process repeating itself countless times… Not again, thank you very much! They just told the gang that they couldn’t cross the entrance. That was enough! They didn’t need to know that every time Spike and Xander tried to walk through the entrance gate, they were pulled back. First time Xander to Teal’c and Spike to Jack, second time Xander landed with Jack and Spike with Teal’c. Third time to the amusement of Jack and to the grumbling of an annoyed vampire Xander was pulled to Daniel and Spike to Carter.

“Hey, I don’t do blondes anymore.” The annoyed vampire yelled to heaven.

Daniel cleared his throat, pushed Xander a bit from himself after seeing the look Teal’c throw him, and told Spike: “Jack’s a blonde.”

“No.” Spike contradicted. “He was a blonde. Now he’s grey.”

So no, if Spike and Xander could prevent it, they would not be telling anyone anything. They kept the call short intentionally, skilfully avoiding answering questions about what happened this time. Xander was thankful that Willow’s puppy eyes didn’t work over phone. By the same token, Spike was thankful this was also true for his Nibblet’s puppy eyes. Since the eyes were not an issue, it wasn’t too difficult to resist. They just ignored the blackmail attempts and pleaded with Angel (with reluctance) to go and check with his contacts for them. This wasn’t too humiliating after they had endured a seemingly eternal round of (hopefully) good natured mockery. So now Spike and Xander just needed to kill time until Angel called back and they hopefully got an answer. Spike knew just what to do during this time!

 

*###*###*###*

 

Just because Spike had a plan didn’t mean the person who was at the centre of those plans was willing to cooperate. As soon as Jack was sure that their guests wouldn’t leave the base (again), he asked the General to be allowed to check out and went home.

With his playmate gone, what was a bored vampire to do? Creature of the night here! Spike needed an alternative plan of entertainment. He would have liked to catch up with Georgie and reminisce over old times. Unfortunately it was the General’s daughter’s birthday and Hammond was already late. If there was one thing Spike wouldn’t do, it was seeing his unofficial goddaughter when there were candles and open flames nearby.

It was one of the mysteries of the Universe but Spike, Jocelyn and fire was a bad combination. On Jo’s second birthday Spike’s jacket caught fire from a candle on the birthday cake.

Three years later he visited on New Year’s Eve and he was burned by her as she waved around a sparkler a bit too close to him. The next incident happened when she was ten and Spike came to visit to bring her a Christmas present. They had stolen out of the house with a candle because the flashlight didn’t work. Jo just needed to show him the place where she fed the rabbits with Daddy and where you could see millions and millions of stars. Jo loved to talk, but she talked a lot with her hands. Spike should have known better, but he let her carry the candle. Between talking and hand waving Spike got another little hole burnt in his duster.

These types of incidents continued to happen at three Fourth Julys, six other Christmases, ten other birthdays and a few assorted other events. Spike and Jo loved each other to bits and George Hammond couldn’t have wished for a better vampire god-father for his daughter. But the whole family had learned that Spike shouldn’t be at family events where open fire was required.

They made up the missed events by making other memories. Jo had to wait for a present from the tooth fairy six months because Uncle Spikey needed to see her first lost tooth before a lowly fairy could have the honour of coming to collect it. He had to come to see her first goldfish and then her first kitten. Then he had to come and comfort her when said first fish was eaten by said first, now a bit older, cat. When he couldn’t visit without letting Drusilla know about them, he was sent lots of pictures.

The night he had told Georgie about himself, a very earnest looking six year old had made Spike give his word to never hurt his family and especially his parents. They shook hands on it and Spike made sure to keep his promise. In consequence the vampire had a trunk full of pictures: Jocelyn riding her brand-new pink bicycle for the first time, her first sleep-over party, her first day of school, her graduation, her wedding day, the birth of Kayla and Tessa, …

So no, accompanying Georgie to a birthday party was definitely out. Not with the history they had with open flames. He would visit her later, if he could. For now however, time to look for other kinds of amusement. But first he went looking for the whelp. Spike would bet Xander needed a diversion too.

 

*###*###*###*

 

It wasn’t difficult to find Xander. The vampire had expected the boy to use his only way of distancing himself from the alien. Xander had barricaded himself in the guest quarters Hammond had assigned them.

Spike had his work cut out for him to persuading Xander to leave the safety of his room and take a step outside the door. Only the promise of Twinkies or similar treats AND the promise of protection from Teal’c and any advances by said alien had the one eyed man agreeing to accompany the vampire.

When they arrived at the base cafeteria news of Spike’s destination had preceded them. The cafeteria was prepared. To his disappointment Spike couldn’t get a single bowl of jello or piece of cake, as if he would do anything when soldier boy wasn’t there to see it. Ok, he sooo would. But only himself, Xander and Georgie knew that… Georgie! He must have warned them! He didn’t let him have fun anymore! Spike did the only thing he could do in this situation; he pouted, not that he ever would admit it.

A food fight was out. The kitchen personnel watched him with eagle-eyes, ready to intercept any moves that would threaten their newly clean cafeteria. Ok, time to find other things to do. Spike turned to their escort and asked: “What do you lot do for entertainment ‘round here then?”

“Er-, work?” was the slow answer.

“You mean to tell me that you only work here and do nothing else! Come on, you don’t really think I would believe you. You work at a soddin’ military base! Aliens or not, there must be boring days!” Spike yelled in frustration, continuing his rant under his breath. “Should have asked soldier boy. I bet he knows how to amuse himself on base.”

It took a while but finally he got their military escort to admit that there were training rooms and that the General maybe, but only maybe, wouldn’t have any objection to Spike using it. Now he only needed to find a partner to spar with. And hurrah, there was one. The whelp sure looked like he could use some relaxing. Xander was jumpy, ducking under the table every time someone came through the doors, looking right, left and in circles to see if there were any alien guys with snakey worms in their anatomy nearby. Yep, Xander needed a distraction too. Urgently!

It took the repeated use of some whining and needling to get Xander to agree. He just couldn’t follow Spike’s logic that getting bruises and being thrown on his ass would be a better distraction from their situation, shortening the time they had to wait for Angel’s call. But finally Spike got his way. They marched to the base’s training room and started.

After a particular painful attack that left him bleeding Xander couldn’t stop himself from saying, “Hey, I’m the normal one! Could you cut back your superhuman strength?! Easily breakable human being here!” The work out went better for both sides after Spike remembered to pull his blows. Xander gave as good as he got and Spike had to admit that he had fun fighting with him.

They both were so absorbed in their verbal and physical sparring that they didn’t notice the crowd forming. Only a loud growl made them stop and take notice of their surroundings. It seemed the resident alien had found them finally – unsurprisingly considering the way he seemed attracted to Xander.

 

*###*###*###*

 

Xander sighed. It would have been too much to expect to have a completely alien free night. He should never have let the vampire lure him out of their nice, private quarters. Now here was the big alien-guy, standing in front of him, making with the aggressive noises. Xander totally blamed Spike. Since it was the vampire’s fault, Xander saw no reason to not hide behind him. He himself would be manly and buff again when there wasn’t a 6' 3", pissed off alien in the vicinity. Besides if he was reading the situation correctly Teal’c seemed angry at Spike and not him. Maybe a better hiding place would be the crowd? Carefully Xander inched away from the vampire and towards the mass behind him… only to stop when his movement drew the attention of Teal’c.

“Are you alright, Xander Harris?” the alien asked him.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.” Slowly Xander inched closer to his target. “No need to worry. I’ve got worse on patrol. Spike didn’t really hurt me…too badly.” Maybe he shouldn’t have said the last sentence?

“S’alright mate, s’not like the whelps permanently damaged or anything.” Maybe Spike shouldn’t have said that either, Xander thought, as Teal’c’s attention swung back to the vampire, who was bouncing on his toes in boredom.

“Would you agree to spar with me? I am always looking for a worthy opponent.” Teal’c asked the vampire. Xander was sure he saw a wolfish smirk crossing the big guy’s face but it was gone so fast he couldn’t be sure.

Spike answered, “Sure, bring it on.” making begging motions with his hands. That was Xander’s sign. He dived away as fast as possible and stopped only once he reached the spectators. Granted safety by distance (hopefully) he turned around to watch the oncoming massacre. Who would massacre whom, he wasn’t sure. But that there would only be one immo… man standing, was a safe bet.

 

*###*###*###*

 

At first they only circled around each other, both waiting for the other to make the first move. Then Spike got bored and lunged forward. Teal’c blocked the blow and countered with his own targeting the vampire’s knees. Spike jumped out of the way and swung at the alien’s back. After that, attack followed attack. Neither one prepared to give an inch, both seeking an advantage. The movements were so fast that the spectators couldn’t see them separately anymore. The two fighters were a blur of motion. Both used any advantage they could get. Sometimes Spike got a hit in, sometimes Teal’c.

The fight continued for a long time until Teal’c called for a time out. One of Spike’s last kicks had met his stomach and left Teal’c bent, holding it protectively. Both looked a lot worse for wear. Bruises were forming. Spike had blood on his lip and Teal’c on his knuckles.

Taking off his shirt the alien looked for any visible damages.

“So, the stick up your ass gone yet, mate?” Spike asked, having noticed that the main reason that Teal’c challenged him were the injuries Xander had received in their sparing session. If the alien really wanted to pursue Xander, he still had to learn that Xander and injuries were inevitable and no one would able to stop the whelp from continuing to fight, especially if he saw it as the right thing to do.

Teal’c answer was prevented by a new and unexpected occurrence. His symbiote must have felt the alien’s resentment of the Spike’s comment. At least this was the only explanation Teal’c could think of. Once again the larva was leaning half out of the x-incision in his stomach. It had its jaws opened threatening and made hissing noises in Spike’s direction.

As usual the vampire was not impressed. “If you want to play with the big boys, you still need a bit more freedom of movement. Don’t think you can live without your incubator there.” He cocked an eyebrow, reassured himself that his view of the spectators was blocked by Xander, who had moved closer to head off the confrontation between Teal’c and Spike. The vampire bent down to it, went into demon face and growled menacing at the larva, showing as many sharp teeth as possible. “Go back into your puppy or I’ll see if you taste worse then the last demon I made eat his own dick, because he wanted to give me shit.” He snapped his mouth together a mere inches from it and straightened up. The larva gave one last hiss and went back into the pouch.

Any further comments were interrupted by an airman. He had orders to inform them that Angel had finally called and left a message to call him back at the Hyperion.

 

*###*###*###*

 

 _Earlier in Los Angeles_

 

Angel was frustrated. “Go get some information. It’ll be easy for you. You have contacts. You’re a Champion. They should throw you the information.” He hit the wall next to him with his fist. “It would be easy if someone in this damn city KNEW anything!”

After getting the call from Spike, the Scoobies, Angel and his team sat down for a spur of the moment meeting. They agreed to send Faith and Gunn out to seek information from their own contacts. Willow, Giles, Dawn, Fred and Wesley would, together with the rest of the new Slayers, pore over the books in hope of finding any prophecies or spells that would help explain the duos inability to come home to them. Andrew was put in charge of the kitchen, with instructions to cook for an army. This way everyone could have something to eat and drink when they were able to take a break.

Angel himself had taken Buffy with him. Their first stop had been Wolfram and Hart. But getting information from lawyers was like pulling lion’s teeth. You would never guess he was the boss, the way they evaded his questions. The only straight answer they got was from a security guard who told them he wasn’t sure if the lawyers knew the answers but they sure were amused at Spike’s and Harris’ predicament. Following the first failure the two tried Angel’s various other contacts. They talked with them, tried to bargain, to flatter, to flirt, to intimidate but no one had heard anything. Angel and Buffy had run from one end of the city to the other… without success. They were both tired. Calculating, the Slayer looked against heaven. It couldn’t really do any harm – she hoped. Looking around and seeing not a soul except themselves, she threw her head back and yelled: “Hey, Powers that Be! Your Champions are calling you! His Childe and my friend need answers! Get off your asses and send a messenger with answers!” Waiting she listened in the darkness, just then noticing the look of horror on Angel’s face she asked, “What?!”

Neither Whistler nor any other messengers appeared. Angel didn’t know what Buffy had expected, but it would have been nice just once to get an answer when they needed it. He took a deep breath and sighed, thinking about what to do next. Lorne! Maybe Lorne would know something! Unfortunately the demon wasn’t any help either. It wasn’t Angel’s nor Buffy’s destiny they were trying to determine, so the two of them singing would only have been a repeated torture for Lorne’s ears without getting any result. They couldn’t think of any other way for finding the answers they needed, so Angel tried one final desperate possibility. He didn’t imagine it would have success but it was the only thing he could think of trying without shipping Lorne to Colorado.

This was why he found himself at the gateway to the realm of the deceased Oracles. His last hope was that in their realm his pleas would have better chances of being heard by the Powers. He had sent Buffy back to the Hyperion, saying she should check up on the others but secretly afraid what she would do if there they didn’t get any answers here.

Once transported to the Oracles’ realm he looked around. Nothing much had changed. The blood of the murdered Oracles was still on the ground but their bodies had disappeared. It seemed the caretakers didn’t bother to finish the clean up job. A bit helpless Angel looked around. What should he do now? Figuring yelling was again an option but maybe he should start with stating his request calmly and politely, he placed himself in the middle of the hall. Gathering his thoughts the vampire took an unneeded breath and began to speak: “Your Highnesses, your humble servant needs help. I’m seeking knowledge on behalf of my Childe William the Bloody, nowadays calling himself Spike. After dying in the battle of Sunnydale, he reappeared on a military base in Colorado. Xander Harris, a friend of the Slayer Buffy Summers, appeared there too. They tried to come to Los Angeles several times but were brought back to the base. The last time they couldn’t even leave the base. Your Highnesses, I seek answers in the name of my Childe and the Slayers friend. Please tell us why they can’t come home. Please.” Angel thought that was humble enough. If that didn’t get him an answer, he didn’t know what else to say. He sat down hoping for the best.

What he got was nothing. He waited for two hours. The impending dawn and the knowledge that Spike and Harris were waiting for answers finally caused him to get up and make his way home but not before looking towards the hall’s ceiling and grumbling, “I know, we’re only lowly beings to you, but a bit of help when we need it would be much appreciated. It would improve the working conditions and morale enormously. SO COULD YOU A LEAST GET UP OFF YOUR LAZY ASSES AND TELL US IF WHAT’S HAPPENING IS YOUR FUCKING WORK OR SOMEONE ELSE’S!!!” Okay, maybe he DID channel Cordelia a bit too much or maybe he should let his friends check him for possession? Nah, that’s Harris, not him!

 

*###*###*###*

 

 _At the same time in a different realm_

 

Imhotep knocked on the door of Vitus’ house. Vitus was his boss and above him in the hierarchy of the beings which the humans called ‘The Powers that Be’. Once he heard “Enter”, he carefully opened the door and looked in, checking if the Power was in good mood. He knew it probably wouldn’t hold but better a good mood going bad than a bad mood getting worse. The last time his boss had been in a bad mood no one had dared to speak to him for one month, other then when it was absolutely necessary. Double checking that he really was in no immediate danger Imhotep slunk into the room and stopped in front of his boss, waiting to be acknowledged. “What do you want?” he was asked.

“My Lord, two of our Champions, the Slayer Buffy and the vampire Angel, have persistently called us...”

His boss impatiently interrupted his careful planed speech. “What do you mean, they persist? They aren’t due for a new message yet. Who do they think they are?! WE are the ones to call on them, not the other way around! Stop wasting my time with this nonsense and get back to your work!”

“Yes, My Lord.” He tried again. “But, My Lord, it could be important! The vampire Angel said that his Childe Spike and Xander Harris, the Slayer’s friend, can’t leave a military base in Colorado. The Champions want to know if we can give them the answers they seek.” He explained quickly, ready to duck out of the office and retreat as soon as it appeared necessary.

That got Vitus’ attention. “A military base? William shouldn’t be back already, and not there. That destroys all our plans! Who is responsible for this?! You will investigate this! I want the one responsible and a report in five minutes! AND HE BETTER HAVE A GOOD EXPALANTION!!! I’M SURROUNDED BY INCOMPETENCE!!! ARE YOU STILL HERE?! GET OUT!!!”

 

*###*###*###*

 

 _Back at the SGC-Base_

 

As Spike and Xander walked through the corridors towards the conference room they collected a small entourage. They had a short discussion before leaving the training room about who should join them and Teal’c insisted that they send for Hammond, who had apparently returned to sleep on base for precisely this reason. They were informed by the airman that SG-1 had already been informed on the General’s order and that they were to be present for the call too.

Carter, Jackson, and the General met them on their way to the conference room. They piled in through the door and Hammond dismissed their escort. They had another brief discussion about waiting for Jack but Spike and Xander were too impatiently and insisted on calling immediately. Seeing that it would be a hopeless cause to try and change their minds and understanding their reasons, Hammond pushed the phone towards Spike. The vampire dialled the number for the Hyperion and put the phone on the speaker.

“Spike? Xander? Is that you?” A chorus of female voices greeted them.

“I’m sorry! We looked but we could find any information and Faith and Gunn and Angel asked all their informants and they didn’t know anything either and we’re really, really sorry…” Willow babbled at them.

“Hey! We agreed to tell them the news slowly. Slowly! We didn’t want to disappoint them.” Willow was interrupted by Buffy.

“But they know we’ll keep looking for answers. And we still need to tell them the good news…”

“What good news?” Willow was interrupted again, this time by Xander.

“We didn’t find any prophecies either that would pertain to your situation either.”

“Wills, this isn’t really reassuring. Just means someone other than Powers is playing with us.”

“But Xander…”

“No, Red. The whelp’s right. Doesn’t mean it isn’t the Powers but it also leaves other possibilities.” Spike answered her.

“Angel has an idea.” Dawn brought herself in the conversation.

“Since when? Ehm, sorry, I’ll be quiet now.” Xander said. Suppressed snickering could be heard, on both ends of the phone.

“If you’re all finished now?! I thought…” the laughter got louder. Angel continued, ignoring the reaction. “We could ask Lorne to fly out to you, so that you could sing for him.”

“Ehm, has the hair gel completely destroyed your brain cells?” Xander asked confused. “How would singing help us?!”

“Lorne’s a demon from another dimension and can…” Spike’s explanation was very rudely, at least to Spike’s way of thinking, interrupted by one irritating alien.

"Quiet! Do you hear that?" exclaimed Teal'c.

Everyone in the conference room stopped to listen. The group on the phone was quiet as well. If they concentrated they could faintly hear what Teal'c meant… it seemed to get louder, coming from a corner of the conference room. Two voices seemed to be arguing about something and everyone turned to stare at the place where the voices seemed to be originating. With intense concentration they could make out shadows. As the voices got louder the silhouettes got easier to distinguish.

“What’s going on guys? Spike? Xander? Are you guys ok?” Dawn shouted, having (presumably) snatched the phone from Angel.

Any answer she might have gotten was interrupted by a voice from the door of the conference room. "What the fuck?" It seemed like the cavalry had arrived or in this case Jack.


End file.
